Dia de los Muertos

Yesterday was Dia de los Muertos. On this day, everyone goes to the cemetery at night, brings flowers, lights candles, and sleeps until the morning at the tombs of their loved ones. It was really beautiful. People build forts around their graves in order to get some privacy and to block the wind. There were probably about 50 forts in all. Our cemetery was built on top of this hill, on the sand, that overlooks my town. Some of the bodies are in tombs that are on top of the ground, and some buried in the ground with only a wooden cross marking the spot. You had to be careful walking around because it was dark and very easy to trip over the crosses. We walked around for a bit just observing everyone. The ritual is to light candles, some people brought pictures, and sit around with your family and pay respects.

For the most part, the adults were paying respects and the kids were being kids, running around treating it like a party. They do not really understand and appreciate the importance of the day. There were also a few men drinking, but not very many. That was good to see. Sometimes it seems like the men just have this culture of drinking, and their values do not stem too far from that. Many days that’s all they’ll do, drink. Drink from sunrise to sunset.

Well my sister and I arrived at 9:30 p.m. There were many circus like tents set up selling coffee and sandwiches, and also other stands selling hamburgers and french fires. It was kind of like a carnival, minus the rides. So we walked around for about 3 hours, and then I start to get tired. My body was tired and I was sleepy. Rocio told me like 30 minutes earlier that we would walk around for a little bit longer and then leave. She had also told me the day before we would not stay night. So I was not expecting to stay the night. Well when I am tired, I being to get crabby. I told Rocio I was sleepy and she said ¨oh, just sleep here¨ pointing to the tomb her whole family had gathered around. Now I would not have a problem sleeping there, but she had already told me we were not spending the night. Rocio is cool because she understands I want to experience their culture, but I cannot spend hours upon hours at events like these. So this irritated me a little. I said no, I don’t want to sleep here and she asked why. But she knew why.

I had enjoyed the night, and usually I do not like being out late. But I realized it was an important day in their culture and I wanted to experience it with them. Maybe I am in the wrong for not spending the entire duration of the event with everyone. I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s normal for me to be like this or if I am just not emerging myself as much into their culture as I should. I mean when they have town fiestas, I usually go. But only for an hour or two. When there are quinceneras, I usually go, but only for an hour or two. We will stay until about midnight and then I will say I am ready to go. These events will last until 4:00 to 5:00 a.m. and if I don’t say I am ready to go, we will be there until at least 3:00 a.m. I feel bad sometimes that I get tired of being at these events because that also means I get crabby and don’t like to talk as much. I do not like to stay up all night at these town functions. I am not Peruvian. This is not my idea of fun. That sounds a lot harsher than what I mean. I want to go to these things, but I cannot go as long as they do. They do it because it’s their culture; they have been doing it their whole lives. I wonder if they realize it’s difficult for me and that I am trying. I don’t know. I don’t think this is something I am ever going to get used to and think is fun to do. This is not my culture. There is only so much I can do. Should I feel bad, should I feel as if I should be integrating more into the community and culture and stop being selfish?